Tuesday, June 30, 2009

June Top Droppers

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Men - Part I

"It's a guy thing." Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

Best Follower Award

Ettarose of Sanity on Edge and Descartes of If You Write It gave me the coveted Best Follower award. How cool is that? Way!

Here's what Ettarose said:

Monday, June 29, 2009

Tagged

Mariuca of Mariuca's Perfume Gallery tagged me with the We Are The World Meme.

*Start Copy Here*

You do not have to be tagged to play along. The game is simple and so are the rules.

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Women - Part II

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Women - Part I

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Friday, June 26, 2009

White?

Son asked his mother the following question:

'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?'

The mother looks at her son and replies, 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

Happy Birthday


Amazing Gracie of Echoes of Grace is having a Birthday today.

Go over and wish her a very Happy Birthday and by all means have some cake.

Just make sure you leave some for Empress Bee.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Perfect Comback

A divorced man meets his ex-wife's new husband at a party.

Later after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy with a smug look on his face and asks him (in a voice louder than necessary:

'So ... how do you like using second hand stuff?'

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Housework

Housework used to be a woman's job, but one evening, Janice arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Senior Games

Senior citizen is a common euphemism for an elderly person in both UK and US English, and it implies or means that the person is retired. This in turn usually implies or in fact means that the person is over the retirement age, which varies according to country. Synonyms include pensioner in UK English and retiree and senior in US English. Some dictionaries describe widespread usage of "senior citizen" for people over the age of 65. "Senior citizen" is replacing the term old-age pensioner traditionally used in UK English. Source: Wikipedia

Monday, June 22, 2009

A Dogs Life

The domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris) is a subspecies of the gray wolf (Canis lupus), a member of the Canidae family of the mammalian order Carnivora. The term "domestic dog" is generally used for both domesticated and feral varieties. The dog was the first domesticated animal and has been the most widely kept working, hunting, and pet animal in human history. The word "dog" can also refer to the male of a canine species, as opposed to the word "bitch" which refers to the female of the species. Source: Wikipedia

Best Follower Award

AngelBaby of Your Caring Angels gave me The Best Follower Award. Thank you so very much AngelBaby. I just love getting awards.

The Rules:

Sunday, June 21, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Father's Day Prayer

Father's Day is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. Many countries celebrate it on the third Sunday of June, but it is also celebrated widely on other days. Father's Day was created to complement Mother's Day, a celebration that honors mothers and motherhood. Source: Wikipedia

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Today's Funny

As with most tetrapods, canine copulation involves the male mounting the female from behind, a position informally referred to as "doggy style". When a male canine is interested in mounting a female, he will sniff the female's vulva. If the female is unreceptive, she may sit, lie down, snap, retreat, or otherwise be uncooperative. If the female is receptive, she will stand still and hold her tail to the side, a stance referred to as "flagging".  Source: Wikipedia

Friday, June 19, 2009

Marines vs Navy

A Marine and a sailor were sitting in a bar one day arguing over which was the superior service.

After a swig of beer the Marine says, 'Well, we had Iwo Jima.'

Arching his eyebrows, the sailor replies, 'We had the Battle of Midway.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Anniversary Gift

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Kreativ Blogger

April of Vegetable Container Garden gave me the Kreativ Blogger award. What is so very nice about this award for April is that it's her first award for her blog. Thank you so very much April.

Here are the RULES of this Award:

Peanuts Anyone?

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Promise

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in and poured him out on the coffee table.

Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She followed by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money."

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Job of a Lifetime

Outside Bristol Zoo there is a car park for 150 cars and 8 coaches. There also used to be a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 and coaches £5. This parking attendant worked there for all of 25 years, then one day just didn't turn up for work.

"Ho hum", said Bristol Zoo Management - "better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant."

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Talking Frog

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

My Body the Car

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull .... but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Rednecks!

A guy went to Tuscaloosa and picked up one of those new Mercedes. He was testing it out in the parking lot, turned on the radio and nothing happened.

Furious, he demanded to see the sales manager, and told him "When I buy a $50,000 car I expect the dang radio to work."

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Detection

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a National Organization for Women gathering, and his blonde hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

T-Shirt Sayings

It's that time of the year for T-Shirts. Here are a few of my faves.

So many men, so few who can afford me.

God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Mum's the Word

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Wonderful Favorite!

Ana of Hella Heaven gave me the Wonderful Favorite award. I love this award and everyone that knows me knows how much I love to receive awards. Thank you so very much Ana. Big hug!

The rules:

Types of Men

Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?"
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy

Sunday, June 7, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Graduation

Our oldest granddaughter Sarah graduated from James C. Enochs High School Friday night and it seems like yesterday that she was crawling around under the dining room table.

But as life happens nothing stays the same and she now has completed a milestone in her life and has plans to enter college with the stated goal of becoming a Doctor of Pharmacology.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

The New Secretary

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office.

John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!"

Friday, June 5, 2009

Old Men

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice -- picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Poker Face

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Mommy's Balloons

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Heaven

On day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven.

God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven.

My Personality Test

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything
that comes along their way."

PinkLady (Bing) of Living and Loving...and Coping tagged me with the Personality Quiz meme.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

May Top Droppers

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.